Thanksgiving WX Report

["Kirk, Roger" <rkirk@cabletron.com>]

WBZ-related & only slightly off-topic:

When I first saw this posted in a joke mailing list,
I thought "Elliot Abrams would sure love this."  Today 
it was posted with proper credits.  Thought I'd share.

Thanksgiving Weather 

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the 
oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen 
will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, 
be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder. 

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front 
of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an 
accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed 
potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce 
creates slippery spots on the other.  Please pass the gravy. 

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued 
for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the 
beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and 
taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the 
refrigerator. 

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to 
eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers 
can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of 
scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend 
where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure 
will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.