Re: "The king of all marriages" ends

[Donna Halper <dlh@donnahalper.com>]

Tony wrote:
> Are we sure it doesn't have more to do with
> the fact that even the best of 
> women can only stand being a doormat for so long? Now the Stern show will
> lose most of it's charm; the fact that he couldn't have any of his 
> pornographic guests, in the biblical sense, was the only reason to tune
> in! I 
> hope Alison got a good chuck of change in the end. 

As a feminist, I certainly can't defend some of Howard's grossness and
vulgarity, particularly his exploitation of women (don't flame me-- it's
just my opinion!).  BUT, having spent 12 years in the radio biz as
an on air personality and music director,   I can tell you that
the pressures of public life can kill even the best of marriages.  I
was single when I was on the air, but I was going with a guy (and had
been for 5 years-- we were engaged at one point) who was also in radio,
and the rivalry that grew between our respective careers ultimately led
to the end of the relationship.   I never thought he would be
resentful of my career-- I wasn't resentful of his-- but he was, and
that's all I want to say on that subject.  My point is that media
folks tend to throw themselves into their work, and the long hours, crazy
schedules, etc can often cause problems you never expected. 

When you are a public figure ,as any ballplayer or TV anchor or radio
d.j. will tell you, people expect you to be friendly at all times, be
available to make appearances, sign autographs, and answer fan mail, or
the word goes out that you are a jerk or arrogant or
whatever.   Now, being friendly to strangers and putting on a
performance even when you don't feel like it may not sound so difficult,
but the pressure to always be "on" and maintain that
professional image can easily bleed into your personal life.  I am
not surprised Howard is getting divorced-- I know few celebrities that
can separate their personal and their professional lives.   And
even those performers who don't do the kind of show Howard does have
problems maintaing a good personal life, because after hours and hours of
performing, you come home and you just want to veg out, whereas your
partner may be eager to talk or go somewhere or tell you something that
is really urgent... but all you want to do is have some peace and
quiet.  And then, there is the ego issue-- when you are a
celebrity-- which I never was-- you get treated like you are a god. 
Eventually, you begin to believe it and expect your spouse to treat you
that way too.    It is no wonder so many big names (and
that includes even CEOs like Mel Karmazin or like Sumner Redstone) are
either divorced or in the process of getting divorced.  

Believe it or don't, Howard loved his wife and she loved him.  But
even amongst people who love each other, there gets to be a point where
the professional life impinges on the personal life one time too many...
it takes an incredibly strong person to be married to someone as visible
and controversial as Howard...