Mon Oct 18 16:28:44 EDT 2004
Or the ultimate disclaimer:
Suitable for adults and children only. Approved for veterans and
vegetarians. Not tested on animals. May be too intense for some viewers. Not
suitable for religious fanatics. Edited for Internet. Sanitized for your
protection. Prerecorded for this time zone. All actors in these photographs
are portrayed by real people. All models under 80 years of age. Any
resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Not the
Beatles. This is not an offer to sell securities. At participating locations
only. Void where prohibited.
No user serviceable parts inside. Contains a substantial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Some equipment shown is optional. Batteries not
included. Some assembly required. Objects on screen may be closer than they
appear. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Contents may settle during
shipment. No other warranty expressed or implied.
Slippery when wet. Slightly wetter west of the Mississippi. Times
approximate. Simulated picture. Baths for two or more. One size fits all.
Colors may fade. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well
ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Keep cool, process promptly.
No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Restaurant package, not for resale. Do not disturb.
Use only as directed. Apply only to affected area. Avoid contact with skin.
First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before pumping. Please
remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Your mileage may
vary. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. If condition persists, consult
your physician. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. No solicitors.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Not responsible for direct, indirect,
incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or
failure to perform. Employees and their families are not eligible. Limited
time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win.
No purchase necessary.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification
purposes only. This disclaimer supersedes all previous notices. Subject to
change without notice. Applicable to US citizens only.
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