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Clear Channel purchases USA

(this is a satire piece that I wrote as if I have nothing better to do,
copyright 10/13/2001 by Jeremy Mixer, this may be redistributed wihtout
permission as long as credit is given)

SAN ANTONIA, TEXAS (AP)- Clear Channel Communications, the radio giant,
has purchased the United States of America for an undeclosed amount. Clear
Channel vows there will be no immediate changes.

The entire United States government has been replaced by automation
systems, and taxes will go up as a result of the buyout.

Former president George W. Bush, replaced by a computer, is dissapointed
and threatened a lawsuit, however it was rejected by Judge IBM, another
computer which has replaced all of the United States court judges.

Clear Channel stock has gone up, however every other stock remains to
fall. Clear channel has also recently purchased the Atlantic Ocean, and
will be replacing all marine life with automation equipment in the coming
months. This will allow fishermen to be able to get fish for a modest fee
as they are slowly replaced.

yeah this is stupid, but it seems like this is what the world is coming